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do you think these are well written articles?

i wrote for one of those information websites that pay you to write simple articles, haven't been making too much money though.. is my writing that bad? any tips? thanks! here is a more serious one and a fun one.. http://www.helium.com/tm/681585/current-trend-western-medicine http://www.helium.com/tm/524157/prank-hysterical-great-trips

Public Comments

1. Your writing is pretty good, but there could be some improvement. One of your problems is that you're writing the way you talk. For example, you said in one spot "...to improve and balance people's moods, equaling less anxiety..." It sounds like something someone would say in a casual conversation. When you're writing something for a professional source, you need to SOUND professional. This could be corrected by saying "to improve and balance peoples moods. This results in less anxiety..." It just sounds like you have a clearer idea of what you're doing. One other piece of advice I have for you is this: be concise, but still include all RELEVANT details and don't bury the lead.